Without You
by Chibi J
Summary: *complete* Major Spoilers to Stars Season!! How Usagi handles things while Mamoru is gone.


Without You  
  
By Chibi J  
  
This takes place during the Stars series. You must know the Stars season if you want to understand this story. I'm sorry; I didn't rewrite the season, just skipped around parts. *CONTAINS SPOILERS* I MEAN MAJOR SPOILERS!!!  
  
Sailor Moon is not my property. It belongs to Naoko-sama and various corporations. "Without You" is from the musical Rent and written by   
  
Jonathan Larson, may he rest in peace.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Journal Entry:  
  
'I awoke this morning from a dream, although I cannot tell you what it was about. I know that it was an important dream, perhaps a remonition, but definitely something that I should remember. Perhaps it is best I leave it alone, but I cannot help thinking that I should know.'  
  
Usagi closed her book and looked out the window beside her bed. The sun was shining brightly, a cruel reminder that the days must go on. Mamoru had left for America less than 24 hours ago and already she desperately missed him.  
  
Rising from her bed before the alarm sounded, Usagi prepared for the school day ahead of her. About 15 minutes after she had entered the bathroom, Usagi's alarm began to sound.  
  
"Usagi, come on. At least get up and hit the snooze." Luna mumbled as she repositioned herself at the end of the bed.  
  
"Gomen Luna." Usagi whispered as she ran from the bathroom to her nightstand, completely dressed and groomed.  
  
"Usagi-chan! You're up!"  
  
"Hai, Luna. I decided that I should be more mature. When Mamo-chan comes back, I want him to be proud of me."  
  
"That's good Usagi-chan. I am glad to see you show such initiative.   
  
Demo, next time, please shut of the alarm for me." Luna stated as she curled back into a small black ball of fuzz.  
  
"Hai, hai." Usagi whispered as she grabbed her bag and headed downstairs for a quick breakfast before school.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Without you  
  
The ground thaws  
  
The rain falls  
  
The grass grows  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
After school let out, Usagi decided to take a walk through the park instead of heading straight to meet up with the girls. She didn't have after school commitments like the others and she had extra time until anyone expected her.  
  
Sitting down on the bench that she and Mamoru always shared by the lake, she let out a deep sigh. Usagi removed a chain from around her neck that had a small heart-ring on it. She removed the ring and slid it onto her finger.   
  
Looking down at her hand, she admired the beautiful ring that Mamoru had given to her and smiled. She missed him terribly, but what was worse was the fact that she could not even talk to him on the phone. Placing the necklace back around her neck, minus the ring, Usagi pulled out a piece of paper and began to write.  
  
'My Dearest Mamo-chan,  
  
I miss you very much. Yet you have probably just landed not to long ago and are not even to your new apartment yet. I can't help but tell you that I will most likely write to you daily. There are so many things that you are missing here that you should know about.  
  
Mako-chan made cookies in home-ec today. We will be eating them when we meet later at the temple. Rei picked up some bad vibes last night and feels we should do a fire reading. I hope everything's okay. What would I do without my dashing hero to protect me?  
  
There are new roses growing by our bench. I can smell them as I write to you now. They are very pretty, but I like yours better.  
  
I miss you.  
  
Love, Usagi'  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Without you  
  
The seeds root  
  
The flowers bloom  
  
The children play  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Journal Entry:  
  
'It has been two weeks since Mamo-chan left for America. I am very lonely without him. He still hasn't written, though I continue to write everyday. The sun is bright and the air from my window feels warm. I can't help but want to go out and run through the park. Unfortunately, commitments hold me to another path.'  
  
Smiling sadly, Usagi closed her journal and headed towards a meeting she had with the other senshi at the temple. She felt exhausted, both mentally and physically.  
  
The new enemy was attacking and she was the only senshi able to heal. At night, her sleep was interrupted by dreams that would vanish with the morning sun. Her only memories would be a pain in her heart telling her that something was wrong.  
  
Even with everything that was going on, school, enemies, friends and dreams, Usagi was still very lonely. Her friends served to entertain her during school hours and sometimes into the evening hours. But whenever she was left alone to think, she realized how much she depended on Mamoru.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
The stars gleam  
  
The poets dream  
  
The Eagles fly  
  
Without you  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Hey Usagi-chan!" Makoto yelled from down the sidewalk. With a quick jog, she easily caught up to her friend. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Oh, hey Mako-chan. Nothing much. I was just going to take a walk in the park." Usagi replied with a weak smile that didn't fill her whole face. As much as she loved her friends, she just wanted to be alone.  
  
"Well, I'm going to the arcade. You want to come with me?" Makoto asked, noticing her friend seemed a little less than her normally happy, energetic self.  
  
"No, I've been being so lazy lately, I need to get some exercise." She answered with a smile and continued on her walk into the park, leaving Makoto without saying goodbye.  
  
"Usagi-chan," Makoto whispered to herself, "I wish that I could do something for you." She sighed and took off to meet the other senshi at the arcade.  
  
Usagi continued what had slowly become a daily tradition. She would walk into the park, cross the bridge slowly, remembering their last conversation there, before finally reaching the bench that she had always sat on with Mamoru.  
  
"They just don't understand." She began to speak quietly to herself. "Day after day my heart breaks for you. You are my soul and my soul is empty with your absence. I wish that I had some news from you."  
  
Removing her journal from her bag, Usagi began to write.  
  
Journal Entry:  
  
'Today the Sensei asked us to write an essay about the state of the economy in the Japanese market versus the United States. I'm not sure what I wrote. Mamo-chan is in the United States. He is there and I am here. My head hurts. I feel like I am falling apart.'  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
The earth turns  
  
The sun burns  
  
But I die  
  
Without you  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Seiya-kun! Wait up!" Usagi yelled when she saw her pop-star friend exiting the recording studio.  
  
"Hey Odango. What are you doing here? I thought all of you girls were going to some dance?" Seiya replied with a smirk. He knew that the other girls had planned on going to snag a chance to date him or one of his brothers. Due to this fact, they decided to have a recording session instead of going to the dance.  
  
"No, I have a boyfriend, remember?" Usagi said with a smile as she thought about the ring around her neck. "I just heard from an inside source that you were here..."  
  
"You mean Minako-chan." Seiya stated with a smile.  
  
Usagi gave a shy smile. "Well, she is the best source on anything to do with the Three Lights."  
  
"Usagi-chan, would you like to go on a walk?" Seiya asked. He felt a strong pull of attraction towards the little bunny, even though he knew she was completely loyal to this "boyfriend" who was in America.  
  
"I would like that." Usagi smiled. Seiya reminded her so much of Mamoru that it almost hurt. If she let herself, she could easily believe that they were one in the same. Seiya could be quite dashing and romantic, sweet and understanding, playful and carefree. All the things that Mamoru had been.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Without you  
  
The breeze warms  
  
The girl smiles  
  
The cloud moves  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Yet, deep down, she knew that he was not Mamo-chan, and that tore at her soul. She wasn't doing anything with Seiya that was inappropriate, yet she felt disgusted at the thought that she was replacing him.  
  
"Thanks Seiya-kun." Usagi said with a small smile as she left him on her front porch.  
  
"I'll see you later Odango." Seiya replied as he watched her close the door. His feelings were in a jumble. He knew that she had a boyfriend that she loved dearly and that he should respect that. Yet, he couldn't help loving her. He walked away from her door wondering if there would be a place in her heart for him.  
  
"Luna, I'm home." Usagi said quietly, as she entered her room. She was exhausted from a long day and wanted to just go to sleep. However, as always, things never went the way she wanted.  
  
"Usagi-chan! Where were you tonight?" Luna whisper-yelled at her. "The girls were waiting for you all night. You left your communicator here! What if there was an attack!?"  
  
"Gomen Luna." Usagi answered quietly as a tear ran down her cheek. She tried to quickly wipe it away, but it did not go unnoticed by Luna.  
  
"Oh, Usagi." Luna said with sympathy as she jumped onto the bed and cuddled into Usagi's lap. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell. Are you okay?"  
  
"Luna, I... I just miss him. I miss him so much." She said as she broke down into tears. Luna, knowing that no words could ease Usagi's tears and heartache, simply sat by her. Sometime in the late hours of the night, Usagi fell asleep with the tears dried on her cheeks.  
  
~*~  
  
"What do you want from me?!" Usagi yelled at Tinyanko who had cornered her on the roof of the school.  
  
"Your star seed." The cat replied with a hiss in her voice.  
  
Although the words sunk into her mind, Usagi didn't move. She couldn't move. Her mind had abandoned her in her time of need. 'Where is   
  
Mamo-chan? I need him to protect me.' She cried in her mind.  
  
Like an answer to her prayers, a single blood red rose imbedded itself in the concrete in front of her. Her eyes, blurred with tears and rain, looked up to see a dark shadow and a flowing cape.  
  
"Mamo-chan!" She yelled as loud as she could. But her eyes cleared some to reveal that it was not Mamoru, but Seiya. "Nooo!" She screamed as if her heart had been ripped right out of her body.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Without you  
  
The tides change  
  
The boys run  
  
The oceans crash  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"He's missing." Ami said simply to her friends that had gathered at the café. "I called the school. They said that he never arrived."  
  
The girls around her gasped in surprise.  
  
"All this time, she never heard from him. She never told us." Minako said in disbelief. Rei had told the girls of the scene at the school and how Usagi had reacted so terribly.  
  
"I don't think I ever realized how strong she is for us." Makoto said in a very monotone voice. Mamoru's disappearance was upsetting, but worse was the idea of Usagi suffering.  
  
"It was horrible. I have never seen her so upset. Even when Mamoru was under the influence of evil and when he didn't remember her. He was there, so she had hope. But now...it's like all of her hope died." Rei said with tears streaming down her face.  
  
"What do we do?" Ami asked. Although she had always been the genius, she had no idea what to do in this kind of situation.  
  
"I don't know." Minako said quietly. "After all, how do you heal a broken heart?"  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
The crowds roar  
  
The days soar  
  
The babies cry  
  
Without you  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Usagi sat in her room alone. The lights were dimmed around her, allowing only a soft glow against her skin. The rain against the window outside cooled her skin as she leaned her head against the glass pane.  
  
"Mamo-chan." She cried to herself. She lifted her hand to the glass.  
  
"Mamo-chan." She took her finger and wrote his name on the fog that had formed on the glass from the warmth radiating from her body.  
  
"Please." She pleaded. To who? The gods perhaps. To the cat that sat silently in the hall. Her friends that mourned for her or her mother that worried about her current eating habits.  
  
"Please." Her eyes were dull and lifeless. As if for the first time, she realized that her love may be gone forever.  
  
"I can't live without you."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
The moon glows  
  
The river flows  
  
But I die  
  
Without you  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"What is that?!" Minako asked in shock as she watched the skyline light up in a blaze of red and orange.  
  
"Galaxia." The answer came from nowhere and everywhere. Although no one could later attest to who said it out loud, they had all known the answer.  
  
Haruka and Michiru walked away from the girls at the temple. They always did things their way. It was how it would always be.  
  
The remaining five girls, two cats, and a toddler looked into themselves to find the strength they needed to win this battle.  
  
"We can do this." Usagi stated with a passion that none had heard from her in some time. "We will win!"  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
The world revives  
  
Colors renew  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"I am a collector of star seeds. They are quite beautiful, aren't they?" Galaxia snickered as she allowed the senshi to see the star seeds floating above her.  
  
However, in Usagi's eyes, there was only one star seed present.  
  
"Ah, I see that you have noticed the pride of my collection, the golden star seed." Galaxia said with a sickening laugh. "He said that he was the protector of Earth. As I ripped it from his body myself, he said that the senshi of truth and love would see to my demise."  
  
Usagi turned green. Her stomach roared and she struggled to keep from vomiting. Here was the star seed of the love of her life. If she had it that meant that he had died.  
  
"I sincerely doubt that will happen." Galaxia laughed as she once again removed the star seeds from view.  
  
"Mamo-chan." It came first as a whisper.  
  
"Mamo-chan." It was a little louder, alerting her friends around her.  
  
"Mamo-chan!" She screamed from the top of her lungs. She collapsed to the ground, unable to withstand the loss of her heart.  
  
Taking the moment for its worth, Galaxia fired off her attack towards Usagi. The unknowing girl sat there. However, she was quickly brought from her trance as she watched the star seed of her best friend ripped from her body.  
  
"Rei-chan!" She screamed. A quick look showed that Minako, Makoto, and Ami had suffered the same fate.  
  
"Why Rei-chan?" Usagi asked as tears flooded her face.  
  
"Be strong princess." Rei whispered as the four girls faded out of existence.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
But I know blue  
  
Only blue  
  
Lonely blue  
  
Within me, blue  
  
Without you  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Sailor Neptune and Sailor Uranus charged the attacks in the wristbands that Galaxia had given them. Sailor Moon stood in front of them, awaiting her fate.  
  
With a sudden turn, Neptune and Uranus fired their attack at Galaxia. Deep in her heart, Usagi felt a great weight lift. They had not truly betrayed her.   
  
Tears formed in her eyes at the risk and lose they took into their hands to save her and the world.  
  
Galaxia, who had been knocked back by the hit, stood, laughing.  
  
"It didn't work!" Haruka yelled in shock.  
  
"She has no star seed." Michiru replied in a quiet voice.  
  
In front of them, Galaxia laughed. "No one has ever been able to withstand my control. Congratulations." She said in a very sarcastic tone as she moved her hand and reclaimed the wristbands from the two senshi.  
  
"No!" Usagi screamed and began to cry. "Neptune. Uranus. No!"  
  
"Our silly princess. You were always such a crybaby." Haruka said with a light laugh as she began to fade and fall to the ground.  
  
"I promise, I won't cry anymore, just don't leave me." Usagi pleaded, although she new that it was of little help.  
  
Neptune offered her princess a small smile as she landed on the ground. She turned to Haruka. "I'm cold." She said in a sad voice. "I want to touch you one last time."  
  
Haruka stretched her hand out to Michiru, who was attempting to reach her. Both struggled to bring their hands together. In a last attempt,   
  
Haruka pushed herself and made her arm stretch. Finally, their hands met and joined. As their fingers entwined with each other, they faded from existence.  
  
"Nooooo!!!!"  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Without you  
  
The hand gropes  
  
The ear hears  
  
The pulse beats  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
They were beaten. There was no longer a choice. Usagi felt herself fall into the depths of death. Yet, there was a pull on her arm. She opened her eyes to meet Chibi Chibi's small blue eyes. Young as she looked, at this moment, her eyes shone with years of wisdom.  
  
'You must fight on.' She heard in her head. The smile of the little girl in front of her pushed her on. Energy coursed through her body.  
  
She came back to reality, her body and spirit momentarily healed. Chibi Chibi turned her spirit into a magical sword that contained the energy to defeat Galaxia. The information flooded Usagi's brain.  
  
"Fight me!" Galaxia pushed at Usagi with her sword. However, Usagi would not fight back, she would only block herself.  
  
"No! I won't fight you." Usagi yelled. She continued to block Galaxia. Voices rang in her head, telling her that she must fight back.  
  
"You are weak!" Galaxia said as she swiped her sword at Usagi again. When she blocked, the sword broke.  
  
"NOOOO!" Usagi screamed as the remaining piece of the sword turned back into a battered Chibi Chibi. "Chibi Chibi-chan. I'm sorry." Usagi pleaded, but the little girl faded, just like everyone else that Usagi loved and held dear.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Without you  
  
The eyes gaze  
  
The legs walk  
  
The lungs breathe  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Usagi stared at her hands where the little girl had been for a moment.   
  
As much as she wanted to cry, she was at a loss for tears. She had cried so much lately, but it had done her little good. Everyone she had loved was gone.  
  
Regaining her strength, Usagi looked up to Galaxia. Chaos had taken over her body completely and taken control. Yet, Usagi could see the Sailor Senshi that Galaxia had once been. The beautiful princess that Galaxia truly was, was hiding dormant, inside.  
  
Standing strong, Usagi began to walk towards Galaxia. Power flooded from Galaxia's hands, attempting hold her back. Yet, deep inside, the soul that was truly Galaxia held up her hand and reached.  
  
She could feel herself dying again. Her body felt weak, yet she knew that she needed to push on. She could feel Galaxia's true self reaching for her, and Usagi knew that she could not quit.  
  
Surging the last of her power, Galaxia, under the control of Chaos, gave on last attempt to push Usagi away. However it was to no avail.  
  
Usagi reached and her hand clasped onto Galaxia's. In that moment of strength and power, the two strongest senshi dispersed the power of Chaos from Galaxia.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
The mind churns  
  
The heart yearns  
  
The tears dry  
  
Without you  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
The two women embraced. Free for the first time in years, Galaxia cried tears of relief.  
  
"Where did Chaos go?" Galaxia asked Usagi, worried about an attack from the evil entity.  
  
"He is back in the world. A little bit in everyone, where he belongs." Usagi answered in confidence. She was certain about her decision to release Chaos.  
  
Never again would it have the ability to control a human being.  
  
Around them, the star seeds of all those that were gathered floated. "They will need a guide home." Usagi said with a small smile to Galaxia.  
  
"It would be an honor." Galaxia said with a nod of her head. As if in understanding, the star seeds followed Galaxia as she took off into space.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Life goes on  
  
But I'm gone  
  
Cause I die  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Alone. I'm all alone."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Without you  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Everyone is gone." Usagi said as she pulled herself up into a small ball.  
  
Resting her head on her knees, she cried.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Without you  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
From the ground below, the Starlight's watched as Usagi refused to move. A sigh escaped from Seiya's lips. Usagi depended on her friends and love to make her life whole. Without them...  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Without you  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Mamo-chan." She cried. "Mamo-chan."  
  
"Usako."  
  
Usagi lifted her head from her knees and stood tall.  
  
"Usako."  
  
The voice behind her was strong and pleading. Her knees were quaking and straining to keep her standing.  
  
"Mamo-chan." She whispered to herself. She slowly turned, afraid that the voice was in her head.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Without you  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Usako. Don't cry." Mamoru said as he stood in his armor with Chibi-Chibi in his arms.  
  
"MAMO-CHAN!" Usagi yelled, and launched herself into his arms. He quickly grabbed onto her and hugged her hard. Around them, the other senshi began to materialize from their star seeds.  
  
To stunned to do anything, Usagi simply clung to love of her life. He was here and she was whole again.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
What did you think?  
  
ChibiJ77@yahoo.com 


End file.
